“How many uncles do you have?” my high school boyfriend once asked.
I thought about it and counted 17 men I called “Uncle” who lived within a 20-mile radius of my childhood home.

He laughed, assuming I was joking — I wasn’t.

In truth, I had only two biological uncles, full brothers of my mother and father. But beyond that, there were:

  • One half-uncle
  • One step-uncle
  • One uncle by marriage (married to an aunt)
  • Several great-uncles (my parents’ uncles)
  • And the rest? They were my parents’ cousins—men of an older generation I respectfully called “Uncle.”

According to the Macmillan Dictionary, an uncle is:

1a.   The brother of one’s father or mother
1b.   The husband of one’s aunt
2.      One who helps, advises, or encourages

By that definition, I had more than 17 uncles, maybe even 30, if you count the kind who advise and encourage!

Now, years later, that same boyfriend (now my husband) asked another question:
“How many cousins do you have?”

Well… that depends on how you define cousin.

The Macmillan Dictionary gives a fairly narrow definition:

Someone who is related to you through a brother, sister, uncle, or aunt of one of your parents.

But The Free Dictionary expands it:

  1. A child of one’s aunt or uncle (a.k.a. first cousin)
  2. A relative descended from a common ancestor (such as a grandparent)
  3. A relative by blood or marriage; a kinsman or kinswoman
  4. A member of a kindred group or country (“our Canadian cousins”)
  5. Something similar in quality or character (“soca is reggae’s Jamaican cousin”)
  6. A form of address between royals or nobles

By those definitions, I have many, many cousins!
Among them (with proper documentation, of course):

  • Colonel George Washington – 3rd cousin, nine times removed
  • Henry Clay, the Great Orator – 2nd cousin, seven times removed
  • And, if one of my “research cousins” is right, even Anne Boleyn and Elizabeth I may be in the family tree!

I began researching my family history in the sixth grade, thanks to a school project. That was my spark. I’ve been digging into records and using the internet for serious genealogy research for more than 20 years now.

And in my book?  Anyone who shares an ancestor with me is a cousin.